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My list of 2015 avoidances

January 15, 2015
Joyce Schenk , Westfield Republican

It's a January tradition for forward-looking folks to establish a list of resolutions aimed at self-improvement for the coming months.

Well, I've been making such promises to myself for more years than I care to remember. And, to be honest, my success rate is dismal. So this year, instead of dreaming of what I'd like to accomplish, I've concentrated on the things I DON'T want to happen.

With this change of focus, I feel my chances of positive outcomes are greatly improved.

For instance, I've given up my plan to lose 40 pounds by next Christmas. Instead, I'll concentrate on NOT gaining three sizes by Thanksgiving. (That will give me a little respite as I face the food-filled holidays.) With any luck, I may be able to pull off that pledge.

I also hope to avoid any complexion disasters. In spite of the steady inroads of wrinkles and age spots on my well-worn face, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I won't wake up some morning with a pulsing pimple in the middle of my forehead or the beginning signs of permanent pillow hair.

Then there are the unforeseen potholes in the road of life that seem to come along at the worst possible times. I'm hoping I can avoid these, too. One would be the disaster of a major auto malfunction that sends me to my friendly mechanic. I don't want to have him check out my trusty van and tell me with furrowed brow, "Lady, I don't know how you managed to drive this thing in here!"

And on my next visit to the dentist, please spare me this scene. As he looks into the depths of my gaping mouth, my tooth expert gasps and yells, "Hey, Bernice, come in here and get a look at this!"

I'm also hoping I won't get a call some busy morning only to hear, "Hi, Joyce. This is your cousin, Irv from Michigan. Me and the missus and kids are passing through on vacation. We thought we'd look you folks up and visit for a week or two."

I want to avoid getting an official call from the health department telling me the delicious potato salad I took two helpings of at the church luncheon yesterday was contaminated and I need to check in to the hospital immediately.

I don't want to read a headline story in the newspaper that claims, "Scientists find possible link between chocolate and increased risk of stuttering, boils, facial tics, falling hair and toe fungus."

Now don't get the idea that I've given up taking reasonable risks and am now going to live life in a vacuum. No, I will still be brave enough to go swimming soon after eating. And I have enough courage to be first in line to test a new cookie recipe. In addition, I have no fear when it comes to wading into a crowd of shoppers at a yard sale.

Still, at this point in my life, I'm comfortable knowing I've resolved to avoid many of the challenges that bring with them unwanted consequences.

But, even though I've resolved to avoid the bad stuff, I don't want to come to the end of the year and realize I haven't drawn closer to my God and my family, made a new friend or two and expanded my knowledge of this fascinating world.

No matter what the next 12 months have in store, they will never come again. I intend to savor every day.

How about you?

 
 
 

 

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