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Moseyin’ Along

Research continues to confirm the obvious

June 18, 2015
By Joyce Schenk , Westfield Republican

In recent years, research studies have resulted in new cancer medications, progress in mapping the human genome and improvements in water purification techniques.

Yet, at any given time, researchers across the country are involved in studies that unearth information an elementary school student would greet with the kids' universal response to the obvious.Duh!

For instance, the University of South Florida uncovered the fact that those with money appear happier than their poorer neighbors.

And, a study published in the Journal of Pediatrics found that adolescents who watch television shows having sexual content tend to want to try sex.

One recent well-funded study concluded that drivers with early Alzheimer's disease have diminished driving capabilities.

A medically based inquiry, published by the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine, discovered that patients undergoing high-risk surgery stood a much better chance of survival if they underwent the operation in a hospital where the procedure is performed often, rather than a facility where the operation is a rarity.

And researchers at Cornell University came to the conclusion that sick workers should stay home from work.

One authority on the subject of "Duh" research admitted, "scientists get promotions only if they crank out a lot of research paperspublish or perish, as the saying goes."

With that motivation, it's no wonder there's always someone eager to undertake such studies as "Why do snowbirds come to Florida in the winter?"

No doubt the results will suggest, "Temporary residents come to the state for the climate." And, it will be no surprise to learn that "most snowbirds come from northern states."

Other studies undertaken at outstanding universities and medical schools have brought the public such long awaited answers as:

"Gun Toting Drivers Are More Prone to Road Rage"

"Swallowing Magnets is Bad for You"

"Faraway Objects Can be Hard to See"

"Too Many Meetings Make People Grumpy and Reduce Productivity."

With so many pressing issues being resolved in these worthyand expensive.studies, I can't wait for the next wave of research to be undertaken by the great scientific minds in the nation's laboratories and research halls.

Some of the questions I'd like to propose for upcoming studies are:

What is the percentage of correct guesses made by the nation's weather forecasters?

Do college students who study make better grades than those who don't?

Do women and men think differently?

Is it possible to interest a kid with a Smart Phone in such activities as Hide and Seek, Riding Bikes and Reading Books?

While the universities and medical researchers are hard at work raising money to fund studies into such fascinating puzzles, we'll simply have to await the answers.

But, don't be surprised if the public greets the conclusions to many of these research topics with a resounding "Duh!"



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